It was released earlier today that Nick Naja is a part of a series of karaoke machines designed by NASA for bored astronauts in space. Second in the series, Nick is accompanied by his brothers Dan and Zach. Dan was the first model, and while fully functional, he was too bulky and not portable enough to be a realistic solution. The next design was Nick. Nick was a compacted version of Dan, making him much easier to take into space. Nick, however, was aboard in the Challenger explosion and although he survived his voice synthesizer was severly damaged. Except for his recorded lyrics most of what he says is now incomprehensible.
Onto Zach, the final NASA designed karaoke machine. After Nick's accident NASA wanted to make a fully fuctional karaoke machine while making it even more portable. Unfortunately funding was cut short and Zach was never finished. Although Zach was completed using parts from an old lawnmower found in the Churchan's garbage pile, Zach is barely functional and has difficulty accomplishing minor tasks.
None of Nick's close friends were surprised when word of his NASA origins came out. Frank Garofalo had this to say, "I always had my suspicions that Nick wasn't human, but I finally realized he had to be a machine when I noticed he knew the lyrics to every single song on earth." Many who have met Naja also say that no human could grow to his size in 16 years. Baby pictures of Naja confirm that he has been over six feet tall since his creation.
With word of such an incredible machine it is no wonder that local business's are trying to utilize his publicity. Local pedo club, The Fun House, has contacted Naja for use of his services. "We were looking for ideas for entertainment for our club when we read this in the newspaper," said known pedophile and Fun House spokesman Dwight Sanderson; "I think I speak for us all when I say I want to know if he has a penis."
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