The Minister of Magic was caught today in his bed chamber with two of his mistresses; Natasha Lopez and Dr. Laura Smith. Although the Minister says the meeting was strictly business, one have to wonder if some monkey business occurred with two of the biggest up and coming sluts in Hogwarts.
Danni Lamana, the Minister's ex-wife with whom he was in the midst of patching things back up with, was outraged at the news. "That rat I can't believe he would do that. I had sex with him less than an hour before this happened. He must have the sex drive of a buffalo, maybe even as much as melanie."
Dr. Laura Ikenburg had this to say,"Yea I grabbed his asshole, so what? After I heard about how much vinny loved it when blair did it I thought I had to try." When asked how she grabbed his asshole she said she just kind of pinched the skin.
Natasha could not be interviewed as she was having an abortion. Alisa said this,"When I saw them go to his bed chamber I slid a condom under the door. That's the second time now one of those hasn't been used."
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
MR RYAN MURDERED
mr ryan a magical buissness teacher from Hogwarts, was a out spoken enamy agenst she who must not be named, was reported to the ministrey to be missing last friday. He was known for his defeat of the dark wizerd Severus Snape. and it would appear that he would be safe but no right now is safe. we found him this morning dead on the floor it would have appeared that she who must not be named is the one responsiable for his death. He seemed to be under a great deal of stress said andrew steake he was always coming in to class with red eyes and out of no where he would burst into giggels he seemed to be loseing his mind.
but mr ryan was found dead on the steps of capital hill with his wand broken and a stange vase looking thing that had a lighter with it." the minister had this to say" i dont know what what the vase thing with the lighter is all bout but it seems she who must not be named is getting more powerful and taking risk in order to take out key people that could pose a threat but it seems her power on dom giamas is getting stronger but mr ryans entire family seemed to be slaghtered. that is all the information we haved to day thank you. His death seemed to be a major hit to the ministrys moral.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
mr ryan a magical buissness teacher from Hogwarts, was a out spoken enamy agenst she who must not be named, was reported to the ministrey to be missing last friday. He was known for his defeat of the dark wizerd Severus Snape. and it would appear that he would be safe but no right now is safe. we found him this morning dead on the floor it would have appeared that she who must not be named is the one responsiable for his death. He seemed to be under a great deal of stress said andrew steake he was always coming in to class with red eyes and out of no where he would burst into giggels he seemed to be loseing his mind.
but mr ryan was found dead on the steps of capital hill with his wand broken and a stange vase looking thing that had a lighter with it." the minister had this to say" i dont know what what the vase thing with the lighter is all bout but it seems she who must not be named is getting more powerful and taking risk in order to take out key people that could pose a threat but it seems her power on dom giamas is getting stronger but mr ryans entire family seemed to be slaghtered. that is all the information we haved to day thank you. His death seemed to be a major hit to the ministrys moral.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
INAUGURAL BALL AT DAN LUBARDAS MANOR WAS A SUCCESS
on friday evening dan lubarda head of the deptment of magical law inforcement held an important ball in order to gain support from foreign ministrys of magic. people that attended the ball were the serbian minister of magic Dokon lubarda. and berak obama commander and chief of the united states govenment, The british minister of magic nicole botchy.
it was a night that every one let there hair down. security was tight with such important people in attendance. many ministry delagates like nick naja member of the magical law inforcement, tamir sartana head of the deptment of magical transportation. Joe cipp head of the deptment of magical games and sports. and head of the deptment of magical cooperation frank garofolo.
dom giamas was reenstated that night as the head of the missuse of muggle artifacts office.
it was a night for cellibration danny lamamna was even seen having a quite momant with former husban the minister of magic she even kissed him once during the night the two had post marital relations in Dan lubardas bed chamber. but Farley ensissted that is was just buissness. friend and head of the deptment of magical transportation tamir sartana had this to say "earley in the night he was up set that danny wouldnt get with him so i told him its wasnt over when the germans bombed pearl harbor and it ant of now cause when the going gets tough the tough get going".
we asked dan lubarda TO share his thoughts on dannnys and the ministers bed chamber buissinees. "the minister said it just buissness than it must have been monkey buissness. essay!!!!!!!!!"
there was much mingleing among the minister and his guest much of the talk was over she who must not be named but the ministery would not releace any information at the time.
after much drinking and danceing had taken place and with the feast done people turned to sevaveral great magical drinking games most popular was beer pong, then also flip cup made an apperance. and a new game made an apperance called scarlet letter. but details of the game remain confidental but it remains a good pic up.
several hours into the event several of the ministerys high ranking leaders converced with there double agent danny martinson on information about she who must not be named. the information was held over stogges and it was a closed door conversation. but we can tell u how danny martainson arrived he came on broom and appeared very warn out so he must have travled very far so the makes SFL west think that she who must not be named is abroad some where in asia.
the night finally ended when serbain minister of magic passed out from to much alcohol he couldent even spell his own name during sex reported jamie hellerman.
the ministery was stoud up by several mambers of its ranks including vinny alestra head of the deptment of improper use of magic. all because he wanted to get his dick wet.
at the end of the night the ministery bid fair well to joe cip who is going to iran to look for leads on joey mac the d- backs ware abouts.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
on friday evening dan lubarda head of the deptment of magical law inforcement held an important ball in order to gain support from foreign ministrys of magic. people that attended the ball were the serbian minister of magic Dokon lubarda. and berak obama commander and chief of the united states govenment, The british minister of magic nicole botchy.
it was a night that every one let there hair down. security was tight with such important people in attendance. many ministry delagates like nick naja member of the magical law inforcement, tamir sartana head of the deptment of magical transportation. Joe cipp head of the deptment of magical games and sports. and head of the deptment of magical cooperation frank garofolo.
dom giamas was reenstated that night as the head of the missuse of muggle artifacts office.
it was a night for cellibration danny lamamna was even seen having a quite momant with former husban the minister of magic she even kissed him once during the night the two had post marital relations in Dan lubardas bed chamber. but Farley ensissted that is was just buissness. friend and head of the deptment of magical transportation tamir sartana had this to say "earley in the night he was up set that danny wouldnt get with him so i told him its wasnt over when the germans bombed pearl harbor and it ant of now cause when the going gets tough the tough get going".
we asked dan lubarda TO share his thoughts on dannnys and the ministers bed chamber buissinees. "the minister said it just buissness than it must have been monkey buissness. essay!!!!!!!!!"
there was much mingleing among the minister and his guest much of the talk was over she who must not be named but the ministery would not releace any information at the time.
after much drinking and danceing had taken place and with the feast done people turned to sevaveral great magical drinking games most popular was beer pong, then also flip cup made an apperance. and a new game made an apperance called scarlet letter. but details of the game remain confidental but it remains a good pic up.
several hours into the event several of the ministerys high ranking leaders converced with there double agent danny martinson on information about she who must not be named. the information was held over stogges and it was a closed door conversation. but we can tell u how danny martainson arrived he came on broom and appeared very warn out so he must have travled very far so the makes SFL west think that she who must not be named is abroad some where in asia.
the night finally ended when serbain minister of magic passed out from to much alcohol he couldent even spell his own name during sex reported jamie hellerman.
the ministery was stoud up by several mambers of its ranks including vinny alestra head of the deptment of improper use of magic. all because he wanted to get his dick wet.
at the end of the night the ministery bid fair well to joe cip who is going to iran to look for leads on joey mac the d- backs ware abouts.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Thursday, January 22, 2009
TOMMY COULDNT KEEP THE SNAKE IN THE CAGE
tommy nitro former SFL WR and a member of the deptment of Magical transportation was caught with his pants down, our sorces tell us that he had pemarital intercourse with a girl who wishes to have her identity concealed we can tell u this they were fornicating behind the school over the weekend she had this to say" it took a while for him to get it up but once he did wow it was better than the time i was doubled teamed by two mexcains."
tommy had no statment to be made he just pointed and said essay!!!
the minister of magic had this to say " im appauled at this recent deveopment and the fact that he couldnt keep the snake in the cage we have more to focas on right now other than tom having sex with some random girl we have the SFL world cup, and the ever inpending doom of she who must not be named who is increasing in power i have nothing further to say thank you."
that was the minister of magic who is looking older and older it seems all these affairs are getting to him. hope fully the minister will find love soon.
on the topic of she who must be named dan lubarda head Department of magical law inforcement caught up with her nummber one supporter joey mac the d-back early this morning in romaina joey had 8 supporters with dan blocked his esscape the battle insued for about 45 min that explains dan lateness to school 6 of joey macs death eaters died but mac and 2 death eaters sliped through the ministrys hands 4 ministry officals died there nameds were john naja, billy naja, dom naja, gary naja, the total deaths for the naja family in this war is now 19 deathes, there have been 25 muggle deaths today. the total death count is 85 wizerds, 2000 muggles, and 12322222 jews.
joey mac the d-back is currantly on the run we bealieve by now he is some where in serbia.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
tommy nitro former SFL WR and a member of the deptment of Magical transportation was caught with his pants down, our sorces tell us that he had pemarital intercourse with a girl who wishes to have her identity concealed we can tell u this they were fornicating behind the school over the weekend she had this to say" it took a while for him to get it up but once he did wow it was better than the time i was doubled teamed by two mexcains."
tommy had no statment to be made he just pointed and said essay!!!
the minister of magic had this to say " im appauled at this recent deveopment and the fact that he couldnt keep the snake in the cage we have more to focas on right now other than tom having sex with some random girl we have the SFL world cup, and the ever inpending doom of she who must not be named who is increasing in power i have nothing further to say thank you."
that was the minister of magic who is looking older and older it seems all these affairs are getting to him. hope fully the minister will find love soon.
on the topic of she who must be named dan lubarda head Department of magical law inforcement caught up with her nummber one supporter joey mac the d-back early this morning in romaina joey had 8 supporters with dan blocked his esscape the battle insued for about 45 min that explains dan lateness to school 6 of joey macs death eaters died but mac and 2 death eaters sliped through the ministrys hands 4 ministry officals died there nameds were john naja, billy naja, dom naja, gary naja, the total deaths for the naja family in this war is now 19 deathes, there have been 25 muggle deaths today. the total death count is 85 wizerds, 2000 muggles, and 12322222 jews.
joey mac the d-back is currantly on the run we bealieve by now he is some where in serbia.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
MURDERS FROM SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
Artemisia Lufkin
Grogan Stump
Faris Spavin
Nobby Leach
Millicent Bagnold
Cornelius Fudge
Rufus Scrimgeour
Pius Thicknesse
Kingsley Shacklebolt
VINCE LUMBERDI
tom landry
Amelia Bones
even helfgot
steven janish
uncle luke
john naja
tony naja
vinny naja
frank naja
mike naja
zack naja
alex naja
luke naja
jim naja
Ludo" Bagman
John Dawlish
Dirk Cresswell
Bertha Jorkins
SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED CONTINUES TO REMAIN AT large reports indicate she has left nashville now that the minister has regained power.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Artemisia Lufkin
Grogan Stump
Faris Spavin
Nobby Leach
Millicent Bagnold
Cornelius Fudge
Rufus Scrimgeour
Pius Thicknesse
Kingsley Shacklebolt
VINCE LUMBERDI
tom landry
Amelia Bones
even helfgot
steven janish
uncle luke
john naja
tony naja
vinny naja
frank naja
mike naja
zack naja
alex naja
luke naja
jim naja
Ludo" Bagman
John Dawlish
Dirk Cresswell
Bertha Jorkins
SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED CONTINUES TO REMAIN AT large reports indicate she has left nashville now that the minister has regained power.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
DIVORCE FINAL MINISTER AND WIFE SEPERATE
danny lamana has been having affair for three years with joe maccanus, brian baily, and LALA, she has not all ways unfaithfull in the 25 years of marige, danny had this to say about the marrige" the sex was allways good and in the begining we were allways cuddleing and laughing. i allways specailized in giving him oral, he seemed to like it then after we had our 3rd kid and five years marryied he took up the post of minister of magic he was working long and hard hours coming home only to eat then with the rise of she who must not be named he was working even longer so after 12 years of good sex and not great sex i started to want more but he was so good in bed i had to have three guys satify me but joey mac was up to the challange. he and me loved each other and me and steves relationship dropped like a stone on water so a year after he became commissioner of the SFL i seperated with him."
joe cipp head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures
had this to say i know there marrige was going down joey mac the d-back was so good looking that danny couldnt help but leave him the minister is very up set and we need him to deal with the crisis of she who must be named.
vinny alestra head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes said" i say danny giving out free handys behind the white house she is such a bitch and must be delt with.
the minister has filed for divorce and now over the hardship that he has faced and he will not allow this bitch to contol him any more he is putting a warent out for joey mac the d-back arrest.
ryan trillow a member of the Department of Magical Transportation said that she who must not be named must be stoped be for she contols the sophmore class she all ready owns viggs as she was seen today to be sitting on vigs lap and hooking up with him
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
danny lamana has been having affair for three years with joe maccanus, brian baily, and LALA, she has not all ways unfaithfull in the 25 years of marige, danny had this to say about the marrige" the sex was allways good and in the begining we were allways cuddleing and laughing. i allways specailized in giving him oral, he seemed to like it then after we had our 3rd kid and five years marryied he took up the post of minister of magic he was working long and hard hours coming home only to eat then with the rise of she who must not be named he was working even longer so after 12 years of good sex and not great sex i started to want more but he was so good in bed i had to have three guys satify me but joey mac was up to the challange. he and me loved each other and me and steves relationship dropped like a stone on water so a year after he became commissioner of the SFL i seperated with him."
joe cipp head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures
had this to say i know there marrige was going down joey mac the d-back was so good looking that danny couldnt help but leave him the minister is very up set and we need him to deal with the crisis of she who must be named.
vinny alestra head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes said" i say danny giving out free handys behind the white house she is such a bitch and must be delt with.
the minister has filed for divorce and now over the hardship that he has faced and he will not allow this bitch to contol him any more he is putting a warent out for joey mac the d-back arrest.
ryan trillow a member of the Department of Magical Transportation said that she who must not be named must be stoped be for she contols the sophmore class she all ready owns viggs as she was seen today to be sitting on vigs lap and hooking up with him
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Danni Llama(na) is an Unfaithful Whore, Ministry of Magic Worried About Her Weight
Danni Lamana was caught sticking her tongue down Joe McManus's throat yesterday by the local paparazzi. You saw it at SFL West first:
After seeing this the Minister promptly went into the oval office and cried. He was not able to fight she who must not be named, allowing her to gain an army of 30 jews who were recently hatched. These jews then started eating muggle brains in the streets. Joe Cip, head of the department of disposal of magical animals, sent out a squad to capture these brain eating jews.
Unable to use magic among the muggles Joe Cip burnt all the jews with water, their one weakness. However, only 29 jew corpses were found, meaning there is still one brain eating jew on the loose.
The Ministry of Magic is more concerned about Danni Lamana's weight. A recent study showed that 90% of people like chips. The Minister Of Magic is afraid that Danni will eat to many chips and is planning on lower her self esteem until she becomes anorexic.
After seeing this the Minister promptly went into the oval office and cried. He was not able to fight she who must not be named, allowing her to gain an army of 30 jews who were recently hatched. These jews then started eating muggle brains in the streets. Joe Cip, head of the department of disposal of magical animals, sent out a squad to capture these brain eating jews.
Unable to use magic among the muggles Joe Cip burnt all the jews with water, their one weakness. However, only 29 jew corpses were found, meaning there is still one brain eating jew on the loose.
The Ministry of Magic is more concerned about Danni Lamana's weight. A recent study showed that 90% of people like chips. The Minister Of Magic is afraid that Danni will eat to many chips and is planning on lower her self esteem until she becomes anorexic.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wayne Marx Suspended for One Million (1000000) Weeks With No Chance of Parole
It's no surprise to hear that the Belgrade Bombers need some major changes this season. After starting 4-3, only being pushed over 500 after winning the Pittsburgh Iron Pigs vs New Zealand Minataur game, the Belgrade Bombers needed to change something. This change was the suspension of the team's first draft pick, Wayne Marx. Head of Magical Games Sports Department Dan Lubarda had this to say, "Fuck you wayne you nigger loving, colon grabbing pussy. And I heard Amanda Lynch is a man."
The Bomber's roster is going to feature only hood niggas in todays game. The roster will be as follows:
Dan Lubarda - QB/Head of Magical Games Sports Department
Vinny Alestra - WR/Team Vaginal Expert
Steve Edward Farley - FB/Evil Genius/minister of magic/commissioner of SFL
Glenn Trovado - KR/Slope
James Lubarda - ZW/Pussy
andrew steake-scumbag
The Bomber's roster is going to feature only hood niggas in todays game. The roster will be as follows:
Dan Lubarda - QB/Head of Magical Games Sports Department
Vinny Alestra - WR/Team Vaginal Expert
Steve Edward Farley - FB/Evil Genius/minister of magic/commissioner of SFL
Glenn Trovado - KR/Slope
James Lubarda - ZW/Pussy
andrew steake-scumbag
HAS THE ONCE GREAT JOEY MAC THE D-BACK GONE INSANE
joe mcmanus one of the greatst football players ever to grace the field of assuption university has abonend all hope of re kindleing his relationship with botchy and joe cipp (head of the deptment of diposal of magical animals) joey mac has had an over enflated ego, rumors have circulatiated about why this has happend. dom gimas had this to say
'I thought mac was alright i mean he was a little cocky but i mean the other day i saw him swiming in the river just fine. right now i dont want to fight him i just want to kill him.'
joey mac left early in the summer to get settled in collage assuring his friends that being an all county football player nothin was going to go wrong. he started off his season great buy having 36 tackels 2 sacks and 2 intercuptions and starting on kick off. his stats are = so sals stats. he came home on a short vist things deffinaly seemed different about him he had a gotee and he was bigger.
concered friend frank garofolo asked hims this" joe are u allright u look different act different" mac replayed " i just need to get some ass franky"
then the brown hit the fan as the boys came back to nashville leagens like matt stefferak, tony nascar, joe cipp, john vanson, and lala the offcourse joey mac the d-back came home for the hollidays every one started at once going outside hanging out drinking, and playing football.
joe did not want any part in playing football his most used excuss was" i dont want to hurt my ankels.
he start thinking then he could get any girl he wanted broke up dom and danny, and he started to get into dark magic with she who must not be named. then he pushed joe cipp out of a moving car and pushed a blind kid down the stairs. than he raped botchy and is now having an affair with the commissioner of the SFL wife danny lamana
joey mac is a danger to every one he comes in contact with and now there has been a warent out for his arrest if you have any idea where she who muust not be named is hiding or joey mac the d-back is there is a cash reward we warn the public both are armed and dangours
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
joe mcmanus one of the greatst football players ever to grace the field of assuption university has abonend all hope of re kindleing his relationship with botchy and joe cipp (head of the deptment of diposal of magical animals) joey mac has had an over enflated ego, rumors have circulatiated about why this has happend. dom gimas had this to say
'I thought mac was alright i mean he was a little cocky but i mean the other day i saw him swiming in the river just fine. right now i dont want to fight him i just want to kill him.'
joey mac left early in the summer to get settled in collage assuring his friends that being an all county football player nothin was going to go wrong. he started off his season great buy having 36 tackels 2 sacks and 2 intercuptions and starting on kick off. his stats are = so sals stats. he came home on a short vist things deffinaly seemed different about him he had a gotee and he was bigger.
concered friend frank garofolo asked hims this" joe are u allright u look different act different" mac replayed " i just need to get some ass franky"
then the brown hit the fan as the boys came back to nashville leagens like matt stefferak, tony nascar, joe cipp, john vanson, and lala the offcourse joey mac the d-back came home for the hollidays every one started at once going outside hanging out drinking, and playing football.
joe did not want any part in playing football his most used excuss was" i dont want to hurt my ankels.
he start thinking then he could get any girl he wanted broke up dom and danny, and he started to get into dark magic with she who must not be named. then he pushed joe cipp out of a moving car and pushed a blind kid down the stairs. than he raped botchy and is now having an affair with the commissioner of the SFL wife danny lamana
joey mac is a danger to every one he comes in contact with and now there has been a warent out for his arrest if you have any idea where she who muust not be named is hiding or joey mac the d-back is there is a cash reward we warn the public both are armed and dangours
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Sunday, January 18, 2009
TOM LANDRY KILLED IN COLD BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BY SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
HE was known for being an out spoken agenst she who must not be named cornered her in the oval office attempting an assanation of commissioner and minister of the sfl,and magic he reportably pulled out his wand and the battled insued where head of the deptment of magical law inforements dan lubardas dad valad lubarda fought with she who must not be named tom landry was no match for her skills as he wounded valad and killed 6 of her followrs she kill Tom landry with the killing curse and he flew out of the window falling 6 storys he was dead before he hit the ground but she who must not be named then turned her attention to the commissioner who by that time was armed and he and her dueled for the first time, she counted on valad Farley killed him but soon dan lubarda head of the magical law inforcement deptment showed up with Frank garofolo head of the magical cooperation deptment with 20 newly hatched jews she who must not be named soon relizing that she was greatly out nummbered disapperted before the jews could poisin her with there venom and with her best fighter killed she had to flee.
Steve Farley said "we can not feel victory today because not only did the magical world and SFL lose a great coach and wizerd but a great man i was going to have tom landry take up my position as SFL commissioner because of the crisis with she who must not be named but it seems i will have to do both'"
there will be a momoral for Tom landry where he fell out of the window and tho he is dead we can not forget the lessions he tought us.
we asked friends of tom landry were they suprised about his death. long time friend uncle luke said yes i was very suprised about his death it was only yes it was only yeasterday that we were sipping brandy and smoking stoges she who must not be named is getttiing very restless and powerful i dont think we will be able to stop her
other poeople think differently joe cipp the head of the deptment of disposal of magical creachers had this to say'' we must learn a lession from this tragiaty and if there is any hope for victory we must not let the tirant andrew steake come back if he does then she who must not be named will have her best follower in office
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
BY SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
HE was known for being an out spoken agenst she who must not be named cornered her in the oval office attempting an assanation of commissioner and minister of the sfl,and magic he reportably pulled out his wand and the battled insued where head of the deptment of magical law inforements dan lubardas dad valad lubarda fought with she who must not be named tom landry was no match for her skills as he wounded valad and killed 6 of her followrs she kill Tom landry with the killing curse and he flew out of the window falling 6 storys he was dead before he hit the ground but she who must not be named then turned her attention to the commissioner who by that time was armed and he and her dueled for the first time, she counted on valad Farley killed him but soon dan lubarda head of the magical law inforcement deptment showed up with Frank garofolo head of the magical cooperation deptment with 20 newly hatched jews she who must not be named soon relizing that she was greatly out nummbered disapperted before the jews could poisin her with there venom and with her best fighter killed she had to flee.
Steve Farley said "we can not feel victory today because not only did the magical world and SFL lose a great coach and wizerd but a great man i was going to have tom landry take up my position as SFL commissioner because of the crisis with she who must not be named but it seems i will have to do both'"
there will be a momoral for Tom landry where he fell out of the window and tho he is dead we can not forget the lessions he tought us.
we asked friends of tom landry were they suprised about his death. long time friend uncle luke said yes i was very suprised about his death it was only yes it was only yeasterday that we were sipping brandy and smoking stoges she who must not be named is getttiing very restless and powerful i dont think we will be able to stop her
other poeople think differently joe cipp the head of the deptment of disposal of magical creachers had this to say'' we must learn a lession from this tragiaty and if there is any hope for victory we must not let the tirant andrew steake come back if he does then she who must not be named will have her best follower in office
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
CRAIG MATTORO IN JAIL BUT FOR HOW LONG.
HE will be formally indited on wepons charges and dog fighting and ruining home coming when he droped the fumble on puropose when he threw the game for money, which he will be getting 100000000 life sentances in dog years in prison.
criag is also a known supporter of she who must not be named. mattoro has been involed with her for yearS. together they have been trying to bring down MINISTER of magic. she who must not be named has enlisted of heard of newly hatched jews that aRE highly venomous and they dont turn to stone when the moon is out so they can feed all the time. the minister had this to say
' please i urge the public not to panic if you take the shiny things out of ur windows they should not enter ur homes. i all so want to warn you they are very well trained so do not attempt to tango with the as they are not good dancers. and they are venomus the ministry is working hard to combat these financail demons so we ask the public sit tight'.
our sources tell us that mattoro will most likely be broken out by she who must not be named.
the SFL WILL PLAY ON MONDAY AT 12 30 SAYS THE COMMISSIONER
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
HE will be formally indited on wepons charges and dog fighting and ruining home coming when he droped the fumble on puropose when he threw the game for money, which he will be getting 100000000 life sentances in dog years in prison.
criag is also a known supporter of she who must not be named. mattoro has been involed with her for yearS. together they have been trying to bring down MINISTER of magic. she who must not be named has enlisted of heard of newly hatched jews that aRE highly venomous and they dont turn to stone when the moon is out so they can feed all the time. the minister had this to say
' please i urge the public not to panic if you take the shiny things out of ur windows they should not enter ur homes. i all so want to warn you they are very well trained so do not attempt to tango with the as they are not good dancers. and they are venomus the ministry is working hard to combat these financail demons so we ask the public sit tight'.
our sources tell us that mattoro will most likely be broken out by she who must not be named.
the SFL WILL PLAY ON MONDAY AT 12 30 SAYS THE COMMISSIONER
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED IS BACK
she was once powerful when she tryed to sever the realationship of frank and dom. dom bearly esscaped with his life after she tryed to kill him,
' it was not the first time a women has not tryed to kill me, danny lamana nearly sucked my soal out of my body she is used to all division and all county linebackers but, she who must not be named wanted not just my soal but my life said dom. frank was wise to her and set out to help his secret love dom, that he later addmited to having an affir with. frank who predicked that she would implament an attack came out with a plan to kill her. he introduced her to a pit full of wineing jews which was her weakness.
but new rumors have cerculated that she who must not be named is back but will frank be able to stop her because with the jews on her side there is nothing to stop her.
commssioner Steve E Farley might be the only one to stop her because besides being the former minister of magic he all so his an attorny at law. but he will need franks help to beat she who must not be named, frank defeating her twice once even defending former minister of magic and current commissioner of the sfl from her making fun of him on the bus in 9 th grade he fucking cracked the bitch but that was before craig was locked up now with no one to spray pepper spray will frank and steve beat she who must not benamed with both of there records i dont think she can take them.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
she was once powerful when she tryed to sever the realationship of frank and dom. dom bearly esscaped with his life after she tryed to kill him,
' it was not the first time a women has not tryed to kill me, danny lamana nearly sucked my soal out of my body she is used to all division and all county linebackers but, she who must not be named wanted not just my soal but my life said dom. frank was wise to her and set out to help his secret love dom, that he later addmited to having an affir with. frank who predicked that she would implament an attack came out with a plan to kill her. he introduced her to a pit full of wineing jews which was her weakness.
but new rumors have cerculated that she who must not be named is back but will frank be able to stop her because with the jews on her side there is nothing to stop her.
commssioner Steve E Farley might be the only one to stop her because besides being the former minister of magic he all so his an attorny at law. but he will need franks help to beat she who must not be named, frank defeating her twice once even defending former minister of magic and current commissioner of the sfl from her making fun of him on the bus in 9 th grade he fucking cracked the bitch but that was before craig was locked up now with no one to spray pepper spray will frank and steve beat she who must not benamed with both of there records i dont think she can take them.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Naja Actually Karaoke Machine; To be Used in Fun House
It was released earlier today that Nick Naja is a part of a series of karaoke machines designed by NASA for bored astronauts in space. Second in the series, Nick is accompanied by his brothers Dan and Zach. Dan was the first model, and while fully functional, he was too bulky and not portable enough to be a realistic solution. The next design was Nick. Nick was a compacted version of Dan, making him much easier to take into space. Nick, however, was aboard in the Challenger explosion and although he survived his voice synthesizer was severly damaged. Except for his recorded lyrics most of what he says is now incomprehensible.
Onto Zach, the final NASA designed karaoke machine. After Nick's accident NASA wanted to make a fully fuctional karaoke machine while making it even more portable. Unfortunately funding was cut short and Zach was never finished. Although Zach was completed using parts from an old lawnmower found in the Churchan's garbage pile, Zach is barely functional and has difficulty accomplishing minor tasks.
None of Nick's close friends were surprised when word of his NASA origins came out. Frank Garofalo had this to say, "I always had my suspicions that Nick wasn't human, but I finally realized he had to be a machine when I noticed he knew the lyrics to every single song on earth." Many who have met Naja also say that no human could grow to his size in 16 years. Baby pictures of Naja confirm that he has been over six feet tall since his creation.
With word of such an incredible machine it is no wonder that local business's are trying to utilize his publicity. Local pedo club, The Fun House, has contacted Naja for use of his services. "We were looking for ideas for entertainment for our club when we read this in the newspaper," said known pedophile and Fun House spokesman Dwight Sanderson; "I think I speak for us all when I say I want to know if he has a penis."
Onto Zach, the final NASA designed karaoke machine. After Nick's accident NASA wanted to make a fully fuctional karaoke machine while making it even more portable. Unfortunately funding was cut short and Zach was never finished. Although Zach was completed using parts from an old lawnmower found in the Churchan's garbage pile, Zach is barely functional and has difficulty accomplishing minor tasks.
None of Nick's close friends were surprised when word of his NASA origins came out. Frank Garofalo had this to say, "I always had my suspicions that Nick wasn't human, but I finally realized he had to be a machine when I noticed he knew the lyrics to every single song on earth." Many who have met Naja also say that no human could grow to his size in 16 years. Baby pictures of Naja confirm that he has been over six feet tall since his creation.
With word of such an incredible machine it is no wonder that local business's are trying to utilize his publicity. Local pedo club, The Fun House, has contacted Naja for use of his services. "We were looking for ideas for entertainment for our club when we read this in the newspaper," said known pedophile and Fun House spokesman Dwight Sanderson; "I think I speak for us all when I say I want to know if he has a penis."
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
DOM AND FRANK BUDDS AGIAN
the dinamic duo is back and better than ever they forgaved each other after a long happy talk in which dom got his friend back and still got to keep his girl and frank got something more a lession.
franks booty call jackie dalecey had this to say' im so glad franks period stoped cause now he can consitrate on the big game coming out and with all this abuse he has been taking i dont know how he will fair he has been shot by pacman jones, got into a knife fight with holst and lost his best friend. but now with pacman jones facing the gallows and holst learning his place. and craig behind bar nothing can stop him from winning"
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
the dinamic duo is back and better than ever they forgaved each other after a long happy talk in which dom got his friend back and still got to keep his girl and frank got something more a lession.
franks booty call jackie dalecey had this to say' im so glad franks period stoped cause now he can consitrate on the big game coming out and with all this abuse he has been taking i dont know how he will fair he has been shot by pacman jones, got into a knife fight with holst and lost his best friend. but now with pacman jones facing the gallows and holst learning his place. and craig behind bar nothing can stop him from winning"
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
FRANK GAROFOLO AND DOM CANT SPELL HIS LAST NAMES, RELATIONSHIP COMES TO AN END
frank and dom have been friends for 20 years, and over the weekend frank made a public statment that they were no longer friends. dom said i dont know where we went wrong, i think it all happend when dan lubarda assalted mr desomon with a pornographic website. frank said it happend when dom was going ass to mouth on a women we are not alowed to releace her name.
i knew that there relationship was going down the shitter when he was trying to get with she who must not be named, i mean she would hook with a kid half doms size but she wont fuck him its an out rage said concered friend vinny alestra
another friend said dom like a little bitch and he does not understand that frank is only looking out for him.
jackie dalesty franks night in shining armor told frank to 'stop having ur mentral cycle
dom said i like frank hes allright in meen i saw him swimming in the river just fine.
frank want a public appology or hes going to kill botchy.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
frank and dom have been friends for 20 years, and over the weekend frank made a public statment that they were no longer friends. dom said i dont know where we went wrong, i think it all happend when dan lubarda assalted mr desomon with a pornographic website. frank said it happend when dom was going ass to mouth on a women we are not alowed to releace her name.
i knew that there relationship was going down the shitter when he was trying to get with she who must not be named, i mean she would hook with a kid half doms size but she wont fuck him its an out rage said concered friend vinny alestra
another friend said dom like a little bitch and he does not understand that frank is only looking out for him.
jackie dalesty franks night in shining armor told frank to 'stop having ur mentral cycle
dom said i like frank hes allright in meen i saw him swimming in the river just fine.
frank want a public appology or hes going to kill botchy.
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
FIRST HOME COMING , THEN TAKING FARLEYS LOVE FOR THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, NOW ENDORSING FIGHTING ,WILL MATTORO STOP AT NOTHING TO DESTROY THE SFL
Criag manchild mattoro is suspended by comissioner steve farley for egging frank and gregs fight. He had this to say about the fight
'Garofolo is inocent and i and the board of directors have forgiven him for his gunfight with pacman jones, we know that he failed in protecting chris lynch god rest his soal from the shine onslught but the death of lynch should serve to remind us all that every goes out there and trys to break a leg.'
Farley went on to say that nether frank nor greg will be held acountable for this altercation and craig has to meet him noon tommorow to discuss his punishment
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
Criag manchild mattoro is suspended by comissioner steve farley for egging frank and gregs fight. He had this to say about the fight
'Garofolo is inocent and i and the board of directors have forgiven him for his gunfight with pacman jones, we know that he failed in protecting chris lynch god rest his soal from the shine onslught but the death of lynch should serve to remind us all that every goes out there and trys to break a leg.'
Farley went on to say that nether frank nor greg will be held acountable for this altercation and craig has to meet him noon tommorow to discuss his punishment
Senior analyst Preston Tucker
BULLSHIT AT CAPITAL HILL
commissioner steve farley met with the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to discuss the on going problems between frank garofolo of the SFL pittsburgh iron pigs and pacman jones of the
NFL, dallas cowboys, farley stood his ground during the talk saying" dallas cowboys more like cowgirls to me. The two commissoners were in the oval office at farleys manor for allmost nine hours discussing the problem. commissoner Steve farley made a public statement at the pentagon. this is what he had to say.
" pacman jones is so be suspended with out pay from the NFL for shooting frank garofolo. Both me and mr Goodell have agreed that he was the one that killed chris lynch and that this n*****r should be lynched for his actions frank will be suspended and will meet with the board of directors to discuss his punishment for the gunfight."
Minotors captain brett asshole madariz has an out spoken hate to the new commissoner he complained to the co commissionor andrew steak that his mathods are brutal and crude farley had this to say.
"this kid is upset that he does not have the power i have and its the same with every new leader that goes into office there is allway some one that does not like them, he is an asshole liberal and want to have a salery capp fuck him i learned this in brown if ur rich the government protects every buck u make and every shit u take. and this little imbread will be dealt with"
this is Senior analyst Preston Tucker signing off
commissioner steve farley met with the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to discuss the on going problems between frank garofolo of the SFL pittsburgh iron pigs and pacman jones of the
NFL, dallas cowboys, farley stood his ground during the talk saying" dallas cowboys more like cowgirls to me. The two commissoners were in the oval office at farleys manor for allmost nine hours discussing the problem. commissoner Steve farley made a public statement at the pentagon. this is what he had to say.
" pacman jones is so be suspended with out pay from the NFL for shooting frank garofolo. Both me and mr Goodell have agreed that he was the one that killed chris lynch and that this n*****r should be lynched for his actions frank will be suspended and will meet with the board of directors to discuss his punishment for the gunfight."
Minotors captain brett asshole madariz has an out spoken hate to the new commissoner he complained to the co commissionor andrew steak that his mathods are brutal and crude farley had this to say.
"this kid is upset that he does not have the power i have and its the same with every new leader that goes into office there is allway some one that does not like them, he is an asshole liberal and want to have a salery capp fuck him i learned this in brown if ur rich the government protects every buck u make and every shit u take. and this little imbread will be dealt with"
this is Senior analyst Preston Tucker signing off
Monday, January 12, 2009
NEW COMMISSIONER TAKES OVAL OFFICE
SFL has a new commissioner after andrew steak was impeached after failing to act when several members the new zeland miniotors shot up a night club. Steve farley will be swarn into office at noon tommorow he will have full control over the leauge and its members. He has a lot to do to fix the problems cause by steak both, leagal and financal problems have consummed the league. But he has allready paid off most of the debt that steak caused.
These are words from farley him self” I am glad to have been given this opportunity, I grew up like most of these kids coming into the draft I have been a part off the SFL for over twenty years, and I grew up playing sandlot football. And I played for the SFL for 15 years and at maryland before the draft. Then coaching for five years I know what this league needs and it needs change”
Steve farley met with president obama yesterday in the oval office to disscuss matters of national security and they both agree that football is more important and that the government will give a 50000000 million dollar grant to the leauge, the money was going to the people of dar 4 but vice president binden seid “ fuck those niggas” .
New commissioner steve farley will be meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to disscuss the problems between pac man jones and frank garofolo the two once comrades in arms both went to old miss and played together and went to sepperate leagues have been fighting for weeks, pac man seid I will fucking kill him and his children. Frank seid ‘ I don’t know what happened to us but if he thinks he can put his dick into my mouth hes fucking reatarded. commissioner farley seid” I stand behind garofolo 100% because pacman is a asshole and should pay for franks gun shot wounds.
That is all the news for today the is Senior analyst Preston Tucker signing off.
SFL has a new commissioner after andrew steak was impeached after failing to act when several members the new zeland miniotors shot up a night club. Steve farley will be swarn into office at noon tommorow he will have full control over the leauge and its members. He has a lot to do to fix the problems cause by steak both, leagal and financal problems have consummed the league. But he has allready paid off most of the debt that steak caused.
These are words from farley him self” I am glad to have been given this opportunity, I grew up like most of these kids coming into the draft I have been a part off the SFL for over twenty years, and I grew up playing sandlot football. And I played for the SFL for 15 years and at maryland before the draft. Then coaching for five years I know what this league needs and it needs change”
Steve farley met with president obama yesterday in the oval office to disscuss matters of national security and they both agree that football is more important and that the government will give a 50000000 million dollar grant to the leauge, the money was going to the people of dar 4 but vice president binden seid “ fuck those niggas” .
New commissioner steve farley will be meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to disscuss the problems between pac man jones and frank garofolo the two once comrades in arms both went to old miss and played together and went to sepperate leagues have been fighting for weeks, pac man seid I will fucking kill him and his children. Frank seid ‘ I don’t know what happened to us but if he thinks he can put his dick into my mouth hes fucking reatarded. commissioner farley seid” I stand behind garofolo 100% because pacman is a asshole and should pay for franks gun shot wounds.
That is all the news for today the is Senior analyst Preston Tucker signing off.
Friday, January 9, 2009
jew v.s. sfl
millions of fans are out raged by the recent on going scandles hell bent on destorying the foundation for the gator nation, behind theses scanles is no other than former member of the new zeland miniotors coby star david he has now been causeing disterbances and is protesting the destion made by the supriem court he will be faceing three years in jail and posable exacution by fireing squad for dog fighting rape ,murder of 6 chilren, and serial entrepeuner.
we asked doctor mangala about this problem he seid" we find this all the time with jews they are a fasinating breed they had great hearing, night vision, distubing minds, they also have no spine which they can slither out of any problem, but there most intersting trait is not there deseption, or teleportation, but there abillity to blend in, i studyed the children for year doing varis test on them there resembilance is all most perfect except there cromasonal count they have 32 where as a human has 23 most are pretty safe if kept on a leach and trained properly we should be carefull not to let the population get out of hand so i ask all of u to spay an newder your jew and any strays should be reported"
coby david stand guilty by the suprieme court and will never be alowed out of prison
written by senior corrrespondent steven farley you stay classy sandyago
millions of fans are out raged by the recent on going scandles hell bent on destorying the foundation for the gator nation, behind theses scanles is no other than former member of the new zeland miniotors coby star david he has now been causeing disterbances and is protesting the destion made by the supriem court he will be faceing three years in jail and posable exacution by fireing squad for dog fighting rape ,murder of 6 chilren, and serial entrepeuner.
we asked doctor mangala about this problem he seid" we find this all the time with jews they are a fasinating breed they had great hearing, night vision, distubing minds, they also have no spine which they can slither out of any problem, but there most intersting trait is not there deseption, or teleportation, but there abillity to blend in, i studyed the children for year doing varis test on them there resembilance is all most perfect except there cromasonal count they have 32 where as a human has 23 most are pretty safe if kept on a leach and trained properly we should be carefull not to let the population get out of hand so i ask all of u to spay an newder your jew and any strays should be reported"
coby david stand guilty by the suprieme court and will never be alowed out of prison
written by senior corrrespondent steven farley you stay classy sandyago
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Naja and Belli Break-up Causes Holst-Garafolo Fight
Within the past couple days it has come forth that Nick Naja and Brittany Belli have officially broken up for good. It is rumoured this is because Brittany Belli has recently gotten surgery to become a tranvestite. At first Nick was supportive of this decision but later changed his mind after getting a new xbox for Christmas.
Greg Holst and Frank Garafolo's fight was started by this break-up. As soon as word was received that Naja had broken up with Brittany a battle ensued over who would get her. Of course, this whole fight was instigated by Craig who constantly taunted Greg and Frank. Craig was even seen running down the field screaming, "Fuck you, fuck you!" After throwing a long touchdown pass. This undoubtedly added to the tension on the field. Once again Craig spared no expense in ruining perfectly innocent people's lives.
After the first punch was thrown reliable sources say that Craig sprayed Frank's eyes with pepper spray and stomped his balls over and over again with steel toed boots that he is known to wear to games. After people rushed to break up this atrocity Craig started to tear up parts of the field in an attempt to make anyone who walked by fatally sprain their ankle. Craig will be charged with three counts of assault and one count of child molestation but will likely have all charges dismissed after using the strawman defense.
Greg Holst and Frank Garafolo's fight was started by this break-up. As soon as word was received that Naja had broken up with Brittany a battle ensued over who would get her. Of course, this whole fight was instigated by Craig who constantly taunted Greg and Frank. Craig was even seen running down the field screaming, "Fuck you, fuck you!" After throwing a long touchdown pass. This undoubtedly added to the tension on the field. Once again Craig spared no expense in ruining perfectly innocent people's lives.
After the first punch was thrown reliable sources say that Craig sprayed Frank's eyes with pepper spray and stomped his balls over and over again with steel toed boots that he is known to wear to games. After people rushed to break up this atrocity Craig started to tear up parts of the field in an attempt to make anyone who walked by fatally sprain their ankle. Craig will be charged with three counts of assault and one count of child molestation but will likely have all charges dismissed after using the strawman defense.
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